Continues From Part 1 …
I’d been dragging around this emotional weight for decades, and finally real help was within view.
I didn’t know how I would pay for the therapy, but found out that the health center, a county facility, charged based on a person’s income. Blessing. Then, I didn’t have a car, but getting to the center was a snap. The bus stop was ½ block from my apartment, and its last stop was right in front of the health center. Blessings.
That Friday I was on time [better be], and the counselor came to the waiting room for me. She was a short, pleasant-looking lady, with a nice smile, and kindness in her eyes. Immediately I was comfortable with her. Blessing.
She had me sit in her office across from her desk, then looked directly at me and in a soft-spoken voice said, “You really don’t want to kill yourself, do you?” I couldn’t speak, since the tears were flowing down my cheeks. I just shook my head, “No.” She then hit me directly with, “You just want the pain to stop.” The tears flowed harder, but I nodded, “Yes.” Her face and voice were so full of compassion. She understood, and I was in safe hands. Major blessing.
Then she got down to business. She pointed to a magic wand on her wall and said, “Do you see that magic wand?” I said yes. She said, “That’s the magic wand I don’t have.” I smiled for the first time in a long while. “We are going to work through this. We will take a journey together. We will look at your life and decide what pieces we will keep and which ones we’ll toss out.”
Every Friday at 11am, for the next 12 months, we had our appointments. She once told me, “I’m going to be good for you. I’ve made the same mistakes you have.” Blessing.
Sometime in our 3rd month of sessions, I learned why I had such a poor self-worth; what had happened, and why. I was able to understand and even forgive those responsible – not in person [was not possible], but in my heart before God. Major blessings!!!
In the 6th month of our sessions she told me, “You have a broken wing. You’ve probably not been flying well for a while [my whole life], and now you are grounded.” But in my case, and maybe some of yours, being grounded is absolutely necessary. You can do needed repairs only when grounded. You can recover and regroup when grounded. And surely, broken wings can heal better when we slow down, stop, and get help. My healing had started. I felt happy and lighter. All that heavy baggage was going away. I’m grateful for all these blessings!!!
If life’s struggles overwhelm you – especially with MS, don’t be afraid to seek help. I still have MS, but healing of all my emotional wounds feels so good!
That’s all for now. See you next week.
Copyright © 2013 Regina Spence